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Woah. That's powerful stuff there, Paul. It seems that perhaps most boy-men don't even know of the lack. Don't even know of the search. And therefore the mature-er ones, the ones who maybe have remained intact for whatever reason who have grown into Men with Help and Mentoring and whatever it takes - aren't offering it up because they don't perceive the need. There's a big Father Hole going on and you wrote about it really well.


How does one search for the father? Is it the same thing as living out of your heart? Does searching for the father ever really end or does it go on as a lifestyle for ever? I feel like I am still looking for fatherhood in the older men that come into my life. I watch the way they handle themselves with their wives. I look to see how they interact with their children. I look to see if their is still life and sparkle in their eyes. Are we as men still willing to take risks? Are we willing to look bad, really fall on our face as we try to live out what it means to be a man. Today as I rode with my family of six children all under 14 yrs of age and two strollers through the subway system down from the Bronx Zoo back to Brooklyn my 1 yr old was screaming for at least half of the way and I could not do anything to get her to stop I even tried pinching. I had to just hold her squirming and kicking and screaming. The car was full of people most very well dressed and by that time most of my kids had oreol cookie smears and soda spills staining their clothes. I felt like I was on the battle field with my wife and children as I toke that long ride back to Brooklyn. I did not look good by any earthly standards I could think of. And yet I was there and I was not running away, I was finding the father by being the father. And as I finish this comment I am going into the next room to apologize to my oldest daughter for telling her I was looking forward to the day she would move away. God help me, and God help us all because after all you are thee Father of all fathers.

Melanie Stefien

In the Spring of 2006 God sent a message. It is about the meaning of First is Last and Last is First. The message is this:
In the morning I go to Heaven. In the afternoon I live my life. In the evening I die death.
What does this mean? It means that Birth is Last and Birth is First. God also gives an example so that you can understand this better. Example: Mike Douglas died on his birthday, August 11. (note: Mike Douglas and Michael Douglas are two different people.)

Melanie Stefien

In 2007 God had this to say:
We each die in succession, then we are born on the same day.


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